Friday, October 7, 2011

rich and i are in danger. (update!)

rich and i are in serious danger.
in the uk, there exists a very real threat to our well-being and future happiness.
it is called wagamama.
their website says they are a chain of pan asian restaurants.
it should say they are a chain of crack restaurants.
our names are rich and olivia and we are addicted to wagamama.
specifically to their yasai yaki soba.
it is really a problem.
they are everywhere.
we cannot escape.

we don't want to escape.

every time we are looking for a place to eat and we spot one, 
we have a conversation like this:
(disclaimer: the role we each play in this scenario is interchangeable)
rich (casually): oh look....a wagamama.
 olivia (cool, calm, and collected): oh....that's cool.
rich: yeah. so.....that's there.
olivia: yes, i see it.
rich (nonchalantly): we just went there. we should go somewhere else.
olivia (same): yeah, i am sort of getting sick of it. we should try to support a small and local place.
rich: great idea.
olivia: (silence)
rich: (silence)
olivia (tentatively): or we c---
rich (crazed): WAGAMAMA!!!!!!!!!!

and with glazed eyes, we run like crackheads to feed our addiction.
we do not need to look at the menu.
the second a server approaches, we all but scream,
"two number 41s two tap waters nothing to start ok thanksssssssssssssss"

(apparently, however, we are not their biggest fan. the last time we ate there, the man next to us literally ordered 10 dishes and ate every. single. morsel. and 5 beers. we silently saluted him.) 

we love you wagamama.
and as your only locations in the usa are in boston, 
you can look forward to seeing us a lot more often, mum and dad!
please don't be offended when we spend the whole visit stuffing our faces 
and then moaning about how full and miserable we are.
rich + olivia + wagamama 4eva

UPDATE: we have consumed wagamama 5 times since this post was written, including 5 minutes after its orginal post, and twice in one day. the other two times we were respectable humans and went once a day. and, fine, it was only me that went twice in one day. rich has self-control. oops.


Beth said...

I feel obligated to warn you that the menu is not exactly the same in Boston as it is in London. I only know this because one of my best friends from college spent a semester in London and nurses an addiction on the same level as yours. This past spring she came up to visit and was so psyched that there was one in Boston...until she scanned the menu online and couldn't find her favorite dish (something with zucchini? I'm not down with the lingo). She even called to see if they could make it for her, and offered to bring the zucchini along if they needed some. That got a big no. Anyway, I think she made do with some other choice, but she died a little on the inside.

Liv said...

This is devastating news!!!!!! Thank you for the headsup. I am off to investigate. Yasai yaki soba is non-negotiable.

Jackie O. said...

Yes, I totally just googled Wagamama to find out about it!

Chelsea Jo said...

hahaha! Love this. "WAGAMAMA!!" I'm not sure if I'm even pronouncing it right as I read this in my head, but for some reason I just want to make this the new "Sweet." Groovy - Rad - Tubular - Awesome - Cool - Sweet - Wagamama. That fits nicely with the progression, right?

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