a little bit of this, a little bit of that

the last week in random/embarrassing/awesome iphone snaps:

rich and i have very different ideas about acceptable dinner beverage sizes:

 look at the following pictures and guess if we have been in the hotel room pictured for:

a. 3 minutes

b. 3 hours

c. 3 days

(answer at the bottom)

a: 3 hours. 

oops.

i don't know what's worse: 

the fact that i have no pants on in the first pic,

the peanut butter smeared knife and pile of picked off gel manicure in the second, 

or the subway trash on the floor in the fourth.

we are nomads, ok? we can't help ourselves.

m & s aka marks and spencer is a store that simultaneously sells groceries, clothing, and these beauties:

i told rich I could not go to breakfast with him anymore because I cannot eat one more bowl  of yogurt with muesli. He went without me, and came back with this:

yes, for all of my "blah blah vegetarianism blah blah green juice blah blah probiotics"

i effing love burger king fries.

not only did i eat them, but i ate them in bed.

like a reallllllll champion.

we're in london for the next 48 hours and will do our best to limit our wagamama intake.

toodle ooo, dearies!

sleep tight

we have stayed in a premier inn every night for the last 6 weeks. they are nothing swanky, but they are always clean and since every room looks the same, it does help us feel less like homeless people wandering from place to place. the other major bonus is that all of the beds and mattresses are the same, and they are insanely comfortable. like, comfortable enough that we looked into buying a bed and mattress and shipping it to the states. apparently, the Queen sleeps on one of these bad boys. i want to stay in it all day long, and i am not really a stay-in-bed-all-day kind of person. 

(i prefer the couch + an intervention marathon.)

we bought a new bed frame in the spring, but left our craptastic tiny mattress on it because we knew we were leaving and didn't want to spend the cash. now, these mattresses (hypnos, btw), plus some time lounging around on the tempurpedic beds in harrods (yes, literal lounging around...we were trying to only spend imaginary money), have got me thinking about mattress buying.

i've come to the conclusion that the world of mattresses is way too big and stressful and i want an organic mattress but they $2873682.00 and maybe i am brainwashed into buying everything organic and can't someone just tell me which one will be the comfiest for someone who sleeps on her stomach in a position not unlike a symbol most associated with a german political party during wwii?

then i came to another conclusion:

i will sleep on rocks as long as they are piled up on this bed:

this is the jonathan adler woodhouse bed and it is my dream.

not my dream bed.

just....my dream.

i wouldn't even need a mattress with this bed. 

i will happily sleep on the floor, knowing that headboard is above me.

siiiiiiigh.

oh and by the way....

my birthday is november 28th.

just in case, you know?

xo liv

(dream bed image via here)

V.I.T.

Very. Important. Things.
I NEED to have the following items with me at all times.
There are other items I feel I can't live without,
like q tips (ohhhhhh, q tips),
but these are my non-negotiable, on-my-person, i-am-in-a-bad-mood-without-them necessities:

Not having sunglasses can essentially ruin my day. Dramatic? Yes. True? Basically.

Only Burt's Bees, only the original, only in the tube. I have loved Burt's Bees since it was only available in specialty shops and it only came in a tin. I've messed around with the honey and pomegranate and mango flavors, but they are all harlots who tried to get me to abandon my one true chapstick love.

I feel like everyone has one pet peeve that is universal but they are certain it affects them more than anyone else. Mine is hangnails. I. Cannot. Handle. Them. And I feel like I have them constantly. If I don't have a nail clipper, I have to buy one. Immediately. 


What prompted this post?

A day without the above items.

all images via: sunglasses, nail clipper, lip balm

rich and i are in danger. (update!)

rich and i are in serious danger.

in the uk, there exists a very real threat to our well-being and future happiness.

it is called wagamama.

their website says they are a chain of pan asian restaurants.

it should say they are a chain of crack restaurants.

our names are rich and olivia and we are addicted to wagamama.

specifically to their yasai yaki soba.

it is really a problem.

they are everywhere.

we cannot escape.

we don't want to escape.

every time we are looking for a place to eat and we spot one, 

we have a conversation like this:

(disclaimer: the role we each play in this scenario is interchangeable)

rich (casually): oh look....a wagamama.

 olivia (cool, calm, and collected): oh....that's cool.

rich: yeah. so.....that's there.

olivia: yes, i see it.

rich (nonchalantly): we just went there. we should go somewhere else.

olivia (same): yeah, i am sort of getting sick of it. we should try to support a small and local place.

rich: great idea.

olivia: (silence)

rich: (silence)

olivia (tentatively): or we c---

rich (crazed): WAGAMAMA!!!!!!!!!!

and with glazed eyes, we run like crackheads to feed our addiction.

we do not need to look at the menu.

the second a server approaches, we all but scream,

"two number 41s two tap waters nothing to start ok thanksssssssssssssss"

(apparently, however, we are not their biggest fan. the last time we ate there, the man next to us literally ordered 10 dishes and ate every. single. morsel. and 5 beers. we silently saluted him.) 

we love you wagamama.

and as your only locations in the usa are in boston, 

you can look forward to seeing us a lot more often, mum and dad!

please don't be offended when we spend the whole visit stuffing our faces 

and then moaning about how full and miserable we are.

rich + olivia + wagamama 4eva

UPDATE: we have consumed wagamama 5 times since this post was written, including 5 minutes after its orginal post, and twice in one day. the other two times we were respectable humans and went once a day. and, fine, it was only me that went twice in one day. rich has self-control. oops.

Brighton

In mid-September, we spent the afternoon in Brighton 

(should have been an entire day before the show that evening but we missed the first train because I was 

working out I mean reading Proust I mean saving children I mean  

putting my hair in milkmaid braids. 

Shameful.

It was the greatest place ever. We were so, so, so mad we didn't have more time there 

(Rich was very nice to me even though it was my fault). 

In just a few hours, we ate some incredible food at a farmers' market, tried on and purchased 

a vintage turban (why not?), saw the royal pavilion, 

and enjoyed the crazy little shops. 

sidenote: i am almost always disappointed when someone touts the "amazing shopping" in any location. i just don't understand what that means. maybe it's because i live in nyc and am spoiled for choice (you can buy customized bubblegum- fo' real), but 99% of the time, people say "oh just wait til you get to blankity blank- the shopping is ahhhhhhhhmazing" and then it's either zara and h & m and a weird place i keep seeing called the chocolate hotel or junk you can buy on the street in union square. do not get me wrong: i love me some zara and junky trinkets but that is not exciting. brighton is one of the only places i have ever been in which the shopping actually was seriously fun and unique. yes!

tomatoes are so pretty, but so gross to my tastebuds.

bread: both pretty & delicious.

this was ridiculously good. it was like lavender/raspberry/lemon vegan goodness.

mmmmmmmmmm

the royal pavilion simultaneously reminds me of:

james and the giant peach
sweeney todd
&
the taj mahal.

weird, huh?

one of the tastiest things we've ever had to eat, with the most inspirational menu!

my new sweet friends from the market.

how british can you get?

and last but not least. the infamous turban (in front of the london eye):

how could i resist?

I would love to visit Brighton in the summer on a beautiful day when the beach is hopping and 

dotted with colorful umbrellas and have a farmers' market picnic on the grounds of the royal pavilion. 

Next time!

next to normal

when your husband does what my husband does for a living, conversations like this are normal:

rich: i can't get my penis as far up my butt as i want when i'm making the vagina.

me: hmmm....maybe you should plie more at the start.

rich: good idea.

siiiiiiigh.